Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships

Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships

Finding the Right Partner

When someone says they have chemistry with another person, what do you think that means? Does it describe the connection they have cultivated with someone special, or maybe a chemical reaction that has drawn them together? Maybe it is less than that and is an attraction based on mutual understanding and similar interests.   

Now let us consider the difference between compatibility and chemistry in a relationship. Is there a difference? Does it matter? Why does it matter? Why does the heart want what it wants? Is it all that complicated?

These are loaded questions because they vary from person to person, and based on the relationship. If you are bonded by common interests, the answer will be different than if you are mutually driven by the love of family and the need to further your line. So, is there a way to narrow it down for a larger group, or is the only way to define chemistry in relationships by trial and error?

How To Define Your Connection

Chemistry in a relationship is simply your connection to another person based on a physical attraction at first, followed by more chemical attraction after more information has been gathered. Chemistry grows stronger with data. The more you know, the better you can gauge your chemistry. Compatibility happens when the data is supported deeper than the more basic chemistry would suggest.

For instance, you see someone across the room. They are attractive, very personable, and have a nice laugh. You love a good laugh and a sense of humor, you are pleased by their appearance, and love that they are social. This is your chemical reaction telling you to connect. After this, you learn they have many details that you share, deep personal feelings between you, and a love of something greater than just the physical. This is where you start to notice compatibility.

If you take a look at the best hookup sites review, you’ll notice that in addition to physical attraction, the algorithm on such platforms always takes compatibility into account, before suggesting you a match; someone you can connect to on a deeper level than just mere looks. When your connection is based on mutual appreciation of all life has to offer. It even counts if you have mutual acrimony and hate the same things. As long as you agree, your compatibility becomes stronger. And you don’t necessarily have to love/agree on everything – that’s just not possible. However, the more there are things that connect you – the better.

Love relationships

Love relationships

So, What is More Important?

 Chemistry or compatibility? Which is more vital? Would you believe both? It is true. You need both. Compatibility doesn’t just happen without the initial chemistry. The chemistry factor in relationships is the baseline for where your compatibility begins. The desire for compatibility is the goal, while chemistry is the starting line.

Is it important to have chemistry in a relationship? How else will you find that initial spark? Sure, there is love at first sight or the odd meet-cute, but in how to explain chemistry in a relationship, it is about more than just the gut reaction. Deep within you, you know there is something more. Otherwise, why waste your time on a fool’s bet?

It’s not enough though to have chemistry, you must know how to have good chemistry with someone. There is such a thing as bad chemistry, and it is pretty obvious. Then, there is neutral chemistry, which means you feel something, but they don’t. Only when it is good chemistry does chemistry matter in relationships. And you know when it is good. The sensations are overwhelming.

Finding Your Perfect Partner Via Chemistry and Compatibility

First, you have to know what you want, what you need, and what will bring you lasting happiness. If you are attracted initially by looks, or by swagger, or by something definable but unique to your tastes, it is a good idea to see if your chemistry goes both ways. When your eyes meet and you both feel that gentle electrical buzz in your soul, it is likely you should pursue this interest further.

When dating online where looks come first, followed by profile information, it can be impossible to know if you will have chemistry until your first date. Sometimes your conversations over chat can get your foot in the proverbial door, but chemistry is a reaction that can only be measured in person. Compatibility, on the other hand, you can determine through online conversation.

This is the last big difference between the two. Usually, chemistry happens first. But online compatibility happens, followed by chemistry at the first meeting. The order is not as important as the reality that you need both to be successful in your relationship. It must be more than physical. Your brain will tell you if your connection is real if you approach it logically, not just emotionally or visually.

With love in relationships

With love in relationships

It’s ok if you prefer to follow your heart. No one is saying that. And the concept of chemistry would suggest your heart is a more reliable source for understanding your attraction. It is just important to also use your reasoning skills, use your logical mind, and trust your instincts, even when they steer you in a different direction. Sometimes your heart will say yes, while your instincts and rationality scream “RUN!”

Listen to all your inner voices. Be pragmatic. Be safe. And always look out for your own brand of crazy. We all have one. Keep that particular idiosyncrasy at bay, if you can. And if not, there is still someone out there for you. There is someone for all of us.


 It isn’t difficult to know if there is chemistry in a relationship. There is a look, then a spark, and then the courage to make a move and gamble on love. The deck is stacked in your favor if your intended interest also has their eyes on you. What does it mean to have chemistry in a relationship? Only you can answer that because it means different things to different people. What does it mean to you?

Miranda is an experienced relationship writer. Miranda enjoys studying relationship counseling, education, and development that focuses on improving communication. Miranda is passionate about cooking and yoga.


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Franck Wang
Franck Wang

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